SPACE AGENCY OPENS INVESTIGATION INTO MYSTERIOUS SPHERES, RULES OUT KNOWING WHAT THEY ARE
Several metal spheres have been found in a rural area, prompting an official investigation to determine their origin. The national space agency confirmed it has secured the objects and placed them un
WORLD REPORTS BROADLY NORMAL SATURDAY
Iran on Saturday began a dayslong funeral for Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, killed by an airstrike at the start of a war whose peace negotiations are currently paused, in part for the funeral.
AMERICA TURNS 250 WITH RECORD FIREWORKS AND RECORD-LOW PRIDE
The United States marks the 250th anniversary of its independence today with 850,000 fireworks over the National Mall, the highest number in the event's history. According to sources Brothcast Journal
PRESIDENT DISCLOSES $1.4 BILLION IN CRYPTO; TAXES REMAIN THE ONLY CLASSIFIED FIGURE
According to a new financial disclosure filed this week, President Trump earned $1.4 billion from his crypto ventures in 2025, a year in which he also held a full-time position with oversight responsi
TASMANIAN ELEPHANT SEAL ONLY WORLD LEADER WITH RISING APPROVAL
Neil, a five-year-old elephant seal residing in Tasmania, has reached a social media following twice the size of the island's human population, a base of support no leader mentioned elsewhere in this
BRAND LAUNCHES TAXIDERMIED-RAT LINGERIE LINE, SHIPS INTERNATIONALLY
*"LingeRAT" pieces sell for $137 each. The company has stated they are not intended to be worn.* Online retailer Rat Oddity Gizzard has launched LingeRAT, a line of intimate apparel featuring taxider
PENNSYLVANIA MAN CHARGED WITH "CAUSING A CATASTROPHE" AFTER DEMOLISHING OWN HOUSE WITH EXCAVATOR
The destruction followed his wife's request for a divorce. His wife and two children were inside the house at the time. Eric Pierwsza, 48, of Butler County, Pennsylvania, faces formal charges of caus
FRENCH MUSEUM FILES CRIMINAL COMPLAINT AFTER ARTWORK BANANA GOES MISSING
The Pompidou-Metz reports the theft of a fruit installation by Maurizio Cattelan. The investigation has been opened against persons unknown. The Pompidou-Metz museum in Metz, France, has lodged a cri
MOST POWERFUL AI MODEL EVER RELEASED IS RESTORED FOR PEOPLE WITH THE RIGHT PAPERWORK
*Anthropic's Claude Mythos 5 returns to approximately 100 organizations on a federal annex. Everyone else, including the company's own foreign employees, remains locked out.* U.S. Commerce Secretary
PASADENA POLICE CHIEF CLASSIFIES OFFICER SHOOTING OFFICER AS "OUT-OF-POLICY HORSEPLAY"
*Internal investigation concludes that drawing a service weapon on a colleague, then being shot in return, falls outside departmental guidelines.* Pasadena Police Chief Gene Harris has categorized a
IRAN GRANTED EXCLUSIVE AUTHORITY OVER STRAIT OF HORMUZ TRAFFIC
*Foreign Minister clarifies that vessels bypassing Iranian traffic control "risk triggering more strikes."* Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi confirmed Sunday that under the preliminary peace d
IRAN TEAM ASSURES ORGANIZERS IT IS ONLY HERE TO PLAY FOOTBALL, JUST TO BE SAFE
The Iran national team clarified ahead of its World Cup opener that it had come only to play football and held no further intentions. The reassurance followed a tournament buildup in which a Somali re
