SUPERPOWER CROSSES BIDET THRESHOLD, WESTERN CIVILISATION DECLARED COMPLETE
WASHINGTON — The Washington Post has established a permanent advisory desk to assist U.S. citizens still uncertain about the operation of the bidet, a water fixture in service across the rest of the i
WASHINGTON — The Washington Post has established a permanent advisory desk to assist U.S. citizens still uncertain about the operation of the bidet, a water fixture in service across the rest of the industrialised world for several generations.
The initiative, conducted with the methodological rigour normally reserved for investigations into federal budgets, has gathered hundreds of queries. Numerous readers requested clarification on direction, temperature, and the possible existence of a manual.
Government sources describe the adoption of the device as a historic step in the modernisation of domestic infrastructure, with a delay international observers have termed "physiological."
In most countries the device is found installed adjacent to the toilet without any citizen having ever requested an explanation.
Economists rule out any immediate impact on GDP but forecast a significant contraction in per-capita toilet paper consumption.
According to sources BJ did not consider it necessary to verify, the Department of Commerce is reportedly weighing measures to protect the domestic industry, deemed among the sectors most exposed to competition from the new device.
This article is satire written with human editorial oversight.
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