wind power
Trump Declares War on Wind, Loses as Breeze Continues Blowing Without His Permission
Former president’s all-out assault on offshore turbines fails to stop them from spinning, much to his bewilderment
wind power
Trump Declares War on Wind, But Turbines Just Keep Spinning, Laughing at His Tiny Fists Shaking at Sky
Former president vows to 'stop the wind itself' if elected; scientists confirm this is not how physics works
heat dome
Europe’s May Heat Dome Declared Official Trial Run for Brexit’s Final Meltdown
As thermometers shatter records, officials suggest the real emergency is learning to pronounce 'heat dome' in all 24 EU languages.
water
City of Windhoek Launches 'Heritage Blend' Tap Water After Residents Complain of Brown Discoloration
Officials assure public that the water, now marketed as 'Terroir-Infused,' is not a health risk but a bold new flavor profile
custard apple
Custard Apple: The Mike Tyson of Plants That Produces Fruit Swooning Like Victorian Maiden
Agricultural researchers baffled by tree that survives nuclear winter, only to offer dessert that bruises if you look at it wrong
