wind power
Trump Declares War on Wind, But Turbines Just Keep Spinning, Laughing at His Tiny Fists Shaking at Sky
Former president vows to 'stop the wind itself' if elected; scientists confirm this is not how physics works
heat dome
Europe’s May Heat Dome Declared Official Trial Run for Brexit’s Final Meltdown
As thermometers shatter records, officials suggest the real emergency is learning to pronounce 'heat dome' in all 24 EU languages.
BHP
BHP’s Climate Pledge Now Officially Renamed ‘Net-Zero By, Uh, Whenever’ After Leaked Docs Reveal ‘Brakes Slammed’ on Green Projects
World’s biggest miner publicly vows climate leadership while internal memos show it’s busy ‘war-gaming’ ways to delay solar panels until retirement age.
heatwave
Runners Collapse After Realizing They Trained All Winter for a Soup-Simmering Contest
Organizers blame climate change for stealing their thunder—literally.
