TRUMP ANNOUNCES END OF WAR WITH IRAN DURING RALLY FOR GEORGIA GOVERNOR'S RACE
President Donald Trump declared Thursday evening that he had ended the war with Iran. He did so during a Republican primary rally in Georgia, appearing before the crowd with a skin texture that source
President Donald Trump declared Thursday evening that he had ended the war with Iran. He did so during a Republican primary rally in Georgia, appearing before the crowd with a skin texture that sources close to the editorial staff attribute to the prolonged and unsupervised use of a next-generation Smart Solarium PLATINUM UV+COLLAGEN, a model not yet available to the public.
Earlier that day, speaking from the Oval Office, Trump had indicated that a deal could be signed "maybe over the weekend, in Europe," with Vice President JD Vance in attendance. He added that Iran's supreme leader had personally approved the agreement.
Tehran stated that no final agreement had been reached.
Our correspondent Kevin Dunnehey, reached by phone, suggested the announcement might be "a move to gain positive coverage precisely because of the rally." The editorial staff informed him that he is risking termination. Kevin said he was aware.
The Strait of Hormuz reopened to maritime traffic as a precautionary measure.
This article is satire written with human editorial oversight.
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